Asked and Answered
by suerum
Summary: This story is my first effort at tying directly into the show. I was intrigued by the promo that showed Sonny unable to believe that Spinelli could possibly be an issue between him and Jason. I wanted to explore the potential outcome of that confrontati
1. Sonny's POV

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**_A/N: I have no rights or affiliation with the characters presented within this piece_**

_Asked and Answered_

_Sonny's POV:_

_It was beyond ridiculous to be having this discussion, to be in this situation. How the hell had things gotten so messed up that he had to be standing here in this room even asking the goddamned question? He looked over at him, trying to read his response, his reaction in his expression. _

_Everyone said Jason was enigmatic -"Stone Cold" as that idiot kid had dubbed him. He had never been inscrutable to Sonny though. Oh no, he could read Jason like a book-if he had ever bothered to read one that is. The tiny little mannerisms-his body language, the color and expression in those amazing eyes, the presence or absence of frown lines-all conspired to tell Sonny what his friend, brother, right hand man was thinking, feeling and even what was likely to come out of his mouth-in as few words as possible of course. _

_Lately, these last months and years, there had been some new behaviors that he had acquired. For instance, ever since Jason had cut his hands to ribbons pulling Elizabeth Webber (he had quite the rescue complex) out of the shattered back window of a car teetering on the brink of a bridge he had developed a new nervous tic. He had a real tendency to scrub his hands together or to look down at the intertwined fingers of the left and the right hand and read them like they were fucking tea leaves or something. Sonny had no clue what it was all about, didn't want to know because it was all part of the "new" Jason and Sonny didn't understand him, didn't trust him, and wasn't sure he even liked him. No, one of Sonny's major goals in life was to get the original Jason back not this sanctimonious SOB standing across the living room from him being so damn mysterious. _

_If he had to pick a particular Jason vintage, he thought he might like the one circa the late nineties or the early twenty-first century. Whenever he was back in town and squarely in Sonny's corner, those were good times. Back when he wasn't questioning orders, using his own initiative (there was only room for one person at the helm and Jason used to be clear about that as well), or just plain getting in Sonny's face. _

_In those days, Sonny was the undisputed mob kingpin of Port Charles and Jason was his loyal lieutenant ready and willing to do whatever was asked of him from killing someone to settling Carly's ruffled feathers to babysitting Michael. He was an all service second in command, renowned and feared (and rightfully so) throughout the mafia world of the eastern seaboard. Sonny had created him, had taken in an angry, brain damaged kid and had sculpted a lethal weapon out of him._

_Yet, if that were all there had been to it, this…whatever this was, wouldn't hurt nearly so badly. Jason had been his-Sonny's-all the way. He had left his family for him and had chosen Sonny to be his mentor, his brother, his surrogate father. Sonny had guided and taught and shielded the kid. Then when he had grown into a man there had been some rough patches, some testing of the boundaries of the relationship. Still, it had never amounted to much and a sharp tug on the reins had always brought Jason back in line. Those were the glory days when Sonny had proposed and Jason disposed-often literally._

_Eventually, Jason had removed the bit from his mouth and their association had altered. Then it had been more difficult to control him, not that Sonny consciously thought of it as controlling him. No, it was more a case of he was the one that was in charge, knew the right approach, the correct strategy and it was Jason's job to carry it through to completion. Except that more and more it didn't work that way, wasn't as smooth as it had always been. No, Jason developed an independent streak, came up with his own ideas and opinions-maybe, if Sonny had never left the business in his hands… It had never seemed to be a problem, every time Sonny got back from wherever-business trips, romantic idylls on the island-Jason handed everything back to him and appeared relieved to no longer have the responsibility, the burden of command. _

_Sonny hadn't forgotten Jason's reaction when he had gotten involved with his younger sister Emily. That time was not an example of either one's finest hour. They had fought with each other like little children over a shiny new toy. Jason had continually played the safety card and Sonny had said that Emily was an adult and could make her own decisions. Anyway, he wanted to know-what about Jason's rule that people made their own choices and let the chips fall where they might? _

_Meanwhile, Emily had tried to mediate, and when that failed she had stood by Sonny. Jason had retaliated by taking Sonny's organization away from him in order to use it as leverage to make him give Emily up. In the end, Sonny had set Emily free against her wishes and Jason had returned the organization to him. _

_Looking back on it, Sonny could see that time as a harbinger of the "new" Jason-this man currently standing in front of him. Someone invested with arrogance, with a faulty memory-this wasn't about brain damage-who didn't seem to recall how much he owed Sonny. _

"_I made you plain and simple," Sonny said to himself with heat, "You were just a punk that didn't know enough to come in out of the rain and this is what it comes down to… All those years, everything we shared, I trusted you with my life. I brought you into my home, treated you like family. I taught you every aspect of this business, the life, the code-you sure didn't seem to absorb that part of things," he thought grimly. "It's not a piece of clothing that you decide you suddenly don't like and toss it into the trash. You live by it and you die by it and that's what'll happen to you, if you do this Jason. I won't be able to stop it even if I wanted to which I don't see why I should considering that we are in this situation because of that freaky boy. I should never have allowed him through the door of my office the first time he showed up. I was in charge and I should have seen he was trouble. Still, I never thought he would be the one to bring down Jason, to bring us to this…"_

_Looking up, Sonny stared at Jason-who was still silent, who hadn't responded to his question whose face was still guarded and unreadable. All Sonny could see in his features was exhaustion, a deep seated fatigue. There were circles under his eyes and the bones of face stood out prominently. He was unshaven and the indentation between his eyes was more deeply etched than Sonny had ever before seen it. At least he appeared to be battling over this decision. _

_He supposed it hadn't been easy for him but that was the part that Sonny didn't get, couldn't get… How could one stupid, disposable computer hacker mean even one tenth to Jason of what Sonny did? He had only been around a little over two years. Sonny absolutely knew that if he had asked him to that Jason would have kicked him to the curb for him in the first six months of their association. He thought that it might have been the Metro Court hostage situation when things started to change, when Jason began to turn to Spinelli. At first it had been for what he could do for him, for them with that magic black box of his. That was the real reason why Sonny hadn't gotten rid of him sooner, his strength was in recognizing and exploiting talent. So, maybe some of this was on him, was his fault. _

_He should have seen what the little geek was doing as he wormed his way into all aspects of Jason's world-living with him, working with him, learning his secrets. Sonny's fists curled in impotent anger as he remembered the first time he realized that Spinelli knew something significant about Jason, about his life that Sonny wasn't privy to. He had tried to cozy up to the kid, made friendly overtures to him. All the while his teeth were on edge and the kid said absolutely nothing of importance while babbling on about gods and goddesses and making Sonny's head hurt. When the secret had been revealed that Jason had a son with Elizabeth Webber and that Spinelli had known it all along, Sonny had been devastated, hurt beyond belief. Jason had come up with some lame excuse that he hadn't wanted Sonny to know because he would try and talk him into claiming Jake, into being a father to him-like that was a bad thing. The nerd seemed to do the exact same thing, tried to get Jason to own up to his paternity but somehow that wasn't a problem-oh, no, he got a free pass to say what he would without recrimination. Sonny thought that might have been the point where his disdain, his dislike of Spinelli had transformed into a complex combination of hatred and jealousy. _

_He couldn't stand to be around him. That fine full blown friendship and brotherhood that Jason and he had shared was exploding in his face. To add insult to injury, he was forced to watch as Jason appeared to replace it with a pale imitation of the real thing. Spinelli was always around, bursting into the office calling out "Stone Cold!" with no discernment, no respect for boundaries. All of it was compounded by his bizarre appearance-his dumb floppy hair and plaid shorts and the way he talked like a clown! _

_Then there was Jason who didn't seem to mind the kid interrupting, who showed endless patience listening to his droning and whining who even went around protecting him against people that wanted to beat him up or hurt him. With a pathetic loser like Spinelli something like that happened daily and there was Jason stepping up and physically pulling people off him or growling at them to leave him alone or they'd answer to him._

_Sonny smiled coldly as he remembered the time he had rammed Spinelli's head into the wall at Crimson after he dared to try and talk to him about Michael and Morgan, about what was best for _his _sons! No way was Sonny going to listen to anything coming out of that little punk's mouth concerning his kids. Why he got to be strutting around whole and healthy while Michael was in a permanent coma was beyond his comprehension. He hadn't felt one moment of remorse. Kate had stopped him from doing anything else to the freak and he supposed he was grateful because he sure as hell wasn't worth spending a second in a holding cell for._

_Then there was the time that he had yelled at him after he had walked in on Kate and him having relations at the Crimson offices. The kid had no boundaries, no tact. He dared to bring it up again at the coffee shop office, where Sonny was reduced to being a visitor to his own organization. His pride was injured and he snarled at the geek, letting his feelings get the better of him. He called him names and this time he did it in front of Jason. He beat the kid down emotionally until he slunk out of the door like a whipped stray dog. Again he felt no compunction, just anger and disbelief when Jason got in his face about what he did, tried to call him on it. He talked to him with anger and disrespect-him, his mentor and friend-and for what-that crawling piece of dirt Spinelli!_

_Sonny couldn't count the numbers of times these last few months that he had tried to reconcile with Jason, had even tried to help him. He'd gone to the office when Jason was arrested and attempted to find out why so he could set things right, do something useful. Again Spinelli was there, got in his way, he seemed to have grown a pair at a most inconvenient time. He had told Sonny in his usual mealy mouthed way that unless Jason wanted him to know what was going on he couldn't say anything. Shocked and frustrated, Sonny had turned and left disgusted at the ruin his once proud organization had become with techno geeks and fashion assistants having free reign of the place while Jason was chilling at the PCPD. _

_Still, he persevered and tried again. He had been civil to the kid at his and Kate's wedding, he had spoken to him courteously and told him he wasn't half bad. Then he had to deal with him getting all goofy and going overboard but he hadn't minded, it was his wedding day and he was so proud and happy. Then there was Kate lying at the altar blood staining her dress and Sonny's first, his only impulse was to call for Jason. He had come immediately and had put his men, even the hacker onto the situation. That was the moment, grief stricken and angry as he was, that Sonny thought everything was going to be okay that the rift between them was healed._

_He couldn't have been more wrong. Jason refused to listen to Sonny, wouldn't go after the Russians, claimed that a Russian shell casing wasn't enough proof of their culpability, said he needed incontrovertible evidence before initiating a mob war. Sonny just stared at him in incredulity. He couldn't do anything about it right then and Jason refused to take any action. He needed to see to Kate first and then he would take care of what his friend, his brother wouldn't. _

_All through their exchanges, their confrontations Spinelli had been a silent shadow hugging his ever present laptop, conversing with Jason about searches and strategies. Afterwards, Jason would send him home for his own safety, not wanting him to get hurt. Back in the day, Sonny and Jason had been a true team-they shared the danger, had each other's backs and it was none of this cyber crap-hacking into records, data bases, security cameras and whatever the hell else…_

_Sonny had gone after Karpov, had done what a man was supposed to do. So, what the hell did it matter that it turned out he wasn't responsible, the facts had indicated he was and when Karpov stabbed him all bets were off. Sonny had taken him out and had formed an alliance with the Zacchara family. If Jason wasn't going to let him back in or help him then he'd find someone that would. _

_The war with the Russians had come and ironically, they had focused entirely on Jason's operation leaving Sonny and the Zacchara's out of it. Sonny had been upset when Jason's son had been kidnapped but Jason had gotten him back just like Sonny would have expected him to. The nerd had the audacity to walk into Sonny Corinthos' living room not once but twice-though he hadn't been there the first time-like he had a right, like Sonny was going to deal with him, put up with any of the incomprehensible bullshit that passed for talking with him. The second visit Spinelli had told him and Claudia that Jake was back home. Sonny was truly glad to hear it but he wished anyone in the world except the hacker was delivering the news. He seemed to believe he was some kind of fucking emissary from the U.N. and that the return of Jake somehow also meant a return of peace between him and Jason. That was rich coming from the person that as far as Sonny was concerned was largely responsible for the majority of Jason's changed behavior, attitude and poor choices. It looked like all the kid's hero worship had gone to his head. It was only Claudia's presence-she had an inexplicable soft spot for Spinelli-that prevented him from taking him by the scruff of the neck and evicting him from his house. Instead, he had listened to him babble with as much patience as he could and then sent him on his way. That was the last time Sonny had seen Spinelli and as far as he was concerned never laying eyes on him again sounded really good. _

_Things had stayed bad between him and Jason, really maybe even had deteriorated. Jason had asked Sonny to quit the Zacchara's and Sonny had said sure, easily just like that. He was assuming that the request meant that he was back in the organization, back in the business that he had built up from nothing at the cost of more sweat, tears and actual blood than any one person should ever have to pay. But no, that wasn't Jason's intent at all, he just wanted him to quit, to become a civilian again to lose the bright lights and the adrenalin flow and the power. Power was the strongest drug, the best aphrodisiac Sonny had ever found. Power was his birthright-it was that simple-and Jason who had known him longest and best just didn't seem to have the first clue. _

_Besides, Sonny thought that Jason did protest too much. He always talked about the business like it was a chore, a responsibility-something he _had_ to do, employees he had to keep safe, some sort of nine to five line of bullshit. He knew better though, he had been corrupted. He had discovered the lure of being in charge, of having the most strength around-being the alpha male. Well, Sonny could understand that but he hated that Jason was so hypocritical that he couldn't just stand there and admit the way it was-Mr. I-can't-possibly-tell-a-lie Jason Morgan wasn't even being honest with himself!_

_So, Sonny had decided to call him on his double standard, to let him know how he wasn't fooling Sonny one iota. While Jason stood there in his living room he had picked up a phone and he had called in an order to land a shipment not on a Corinthos-Zacchara pier but on a Morgan pier. Jason had let him, had said it was because it was Michael's birthday that he wouldn't confront Sonny this once, a weak excuse for a weak man-something he had never thought to think with regard to Jason Morgan. _

_Perversely, Sonny had decided to do it again, Jason would never go against him-never. After all, he only existed at Sonny's pleasure. Yet, Jason had responded. He had blown up the Zacchara ship before it had ever reached the dock. Sonny was actually happy at Jason's fiery response; it meant that his former protégé hadn't gone entirely soft on him. Now, he could tackle the battle to reclaim his rightful position as the sole head of the Corinthos organization with zest, it would be a battle between worthy adversaries. Yet, there could be no doubt to the outcome-Sonny would prevail. _

_Well, that was then-what was it, hours ago, yesterday, days before, he didn't know anymore-and this was now. He could get Jason coming after him with angry words, with fists, even a gun or a knife but this…this was beyond the pale. Kill each other? Maybe so, after all the line between love and hate could get stretched so thin it became invisible… That was a man's reaction in a man's world-difficult but conceivable, understandable. Yet, there could never be an excuse for this-not this utter betrayal, this breaking of the most sacred part of the code-thou shalt not snitch! _

_Sonny's heart was broken as he looked across the room at the man he had once thought was more important to him than almost anyone, how low he had fallen and why? The answer was easy and despicable. It consisted of one word-Spinelli. He was doing all this for that freak of nature, that punk that had emasculated the finest enforcer Sonny and most of his comrades had ever encountered. _

_He briefly thought about going after him, taking him out. If the kid didn't exist than there was no need for snitching. Jason would grieve but deep down Sonny believed he would be glad to be rid of the kid, of the intolerable position that he had placed him in due to his indiscretion, his inability to keep his trap shut-ever! Sonny personally thought the planet would be an infinitely better place minus one Damian Spinelli. He could do it morally that wasn't the issue in the least. Actually, he knew it wouldn't cost him a single moment's lost sleep. Sonny was pragmatic though and he knew it would be quite likely that suspicion would come to roost on him and this was the feds not the local keystone cops. Besides, the way he was acting these days, Sonny couldn't be sure that Jason wouldn't be leading the lynch mob except that instead of a noose he would come for him with that shiny silver phallic weapon of choice with a silencer attached…_

_So, it all came down to the question. Sonny couldn't imagine there could be any answer besides a negative one, there simply couldn't because otherwise it would mean that he had wasted twenty years of his life, that he had never understood this man with the tortured eyes standing in front of him. He needed to say it again, he needed to get a response, he needed to hear the word no. _

_Licking his dry lips, Sonny's black eyes drilled into Jason's cerulean blue ones and he asked, hating the small tremor in his voice as he spoke, "Is it worth it to save Spinelli?"_


	2. Jason's POV

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**_A/N: I have no rights or affiliation with the characters presented within this piece_**

****Asked and Answered

_Jason's POV__:_

_He had heard it-the question-he just couldn't believe that Sonny had asked it, that he seemed to think the answer would be the one he wanted rather than the one Jason would give. As usual, it was all about Sonny-whatever the fuck he needed, whatever the fuck he wanted. He couldn't see, didn't want to see what this was costing Jason. It would have been simple, preferable, hell-highly desirable-if the FBI had said-you or Spinelli or you or Sonny. Easiest thing in the world, he would have held out his wrists and they would have put the metal bracelets on and taken him away and that would have been that. _

_That isn't what happened though. Instead they had taken his boy, _his boy_! They had put him in a cage and hadn't even let Jason talk to him. He wouldn't survive a day, a week, never mind the rest of his life in jail, in prison. He cringed just thinking about it-Spinelli in jail. He couldn't get through a meeting with Sonny without crumbling what would happen when he was surrounded by nothing but Sonny clones? _

_Then there was the selfish part of Jason, the part that knew he wouldn't survive without Spinelli either. He would drink too much, ride his motorcycle too fast, and sink into an endless depression generated by guilt and grief that would end badly, end Jason prematurely that was for sure._

_The answer to the question was simple, it was yes. It was an unadulterated, unequivocal, un-put your choice of absolutely only one way adjective here and call it good yes. Spinelli was worth it, he couldn't think of one person of his acquaintance except for possibly Elizabeth or Robin and most children under the age of ten that were worth it as much-none were worth more. _

_He never thought that he would be in this position. As usual Sonny thought he understood things that Jason didn't grasp, that he still had to help the poor brain damaged simpleton comprehend the intricacies of the situation. Well, in reality there weren't any-intricacies that is-Jason knew you didn't snitch, kids wet behind the ears knew you didn't snitch. They had Spinelli and they said inform on Sonny. Jason didn't care what you did or didn't do, he only cared about Spinelli. So, snitching became the new thing he did because he didn't have a goddamn fucking choice. It was Sonny that didn't grasp the simplicity of the situation-you did whatever you had to for your family, for the ones you loved._

_Hell, Sonny let his own son catch a bullet and end up in a coma because he didn't understand that basic rule of being human which superseded any code ever devised. He couldn't even be a man about it. Instead he whined and complained and talked about how misunderstood he was and how he wished so heartily that there could have been any other outcome as though it had nothing to do with him or his choices. Then he went merrily on with his life-wanting out of the business that had 'cost' him so much and that would clear the way to him being able to marry Kate._

_Michael had spent the first year of his life in Jason's care. He loved that boy like he was his own and he had only agreed to let him live with Carly and Sonny because he thought it was best for Michael. If Jason could have seen into the future, if he had possessed a crystal ball-he would have fought tooth and nail to have anyone else raise him. The Quartermaines, Jason, an adoptive family-anybody would have been better than the circus that living with Sonny and Carly became. The danger had been around all through the years. Jason had lost track of how many times Michael had been kidnapped or run away from home. He was emotionally damaged by all that he was witness to-the violence, his parents' fighting and selfishness, the restrictions on his life. Jason would have done everything in his power to make things different for Michael if he had but known. _

_Well, that was Michael and he was past Jason's reach, past anything but his guilt and his regret. It would be a cold day in hell before he let Spinelli down in the same way he had betrayed Michael and all because he had always put Sonny first. What Sonny wanted, Jason went and got for him. Sonny had asked him for his time, his life and his very soul and Jason had complied. _

_He wasn't going to hide behind the excuse that people liked to offer up for him that he had been brain damaged and hadn't known what he was doing before it was all too late. He had made choices and decisions driven by an inner rage and a need to impress Sonny. Still, that didn't excuse him from the culpability of all the deeds he had performed, all the violence he was embroiled in. He had paid dearly for his hero worship of Sonny, for the partnership and brotherhood they had shared. He was damaged beyond salvation and he couldn't even claim his own son. _

_Yet, two years ago without his awareness, a young man had walked into his life and had offered Jason a fresh chance to get it right-to be a mentor, a brother, maybe even a parent. He didn't recognize Spinelli as anything more than a goofy and geeky inconvenience in the beginning. He really couldn't say when he started to care about the kid, when his irritated responses began to be tempered with affection. _

_He had never met someone that could talk so much! He wore his every emotion on his face and it was like reading a map to the boy's happiness, sorrow, pain, humor and intense loyalty. His heart, Jason had only met a few people that even came close to having a heart like Spinelli's-his sister Emily, maybe Michael-so full of compassion and understanding. He revered Jason and tried to emulate him while Jason slowly began to appreciate what an invaluable soul Spinelli possessed._

_He learned without conscious thought to interpret Spinelli-speak, to read his body language. He found himself wanting to fix things for him and to protect him from all the people that inconceivably seemed to want hurt him both emotionally and physically. Somewhere along the way the kid had burrowed his way into Jason's heart and he was entirely content with the arrangement. _

_As far as Jason was concerned he had benefited far more from their relationship than Spinelli ever had. He had gained a friend, a confidant, a trusted ally and a kid brother. Spinelli never mistook his gruffness or his abrupt temper for a lack of caring. Somehow he saw into Jason in a way few could and loved him unconditionally. Jason went from disliking the kid's naked hero worship of him to fearing the inevitable when his feet of clay would be revealed. Yet, he had slowly come to recognize that Spinelli would never feel differently about him and it wasn't because he saw him through rose colored glasses. It was actually the opposite, at some level inside himself Spinelli was crystal clear about what his mentor did for a living. Yet, it didn't matter to him because it was counterbalanced by all the worthwhile things Jason did, all the times he put his time, his freedom and his life on the line to help countless other people. _

_Jason knew he should have long since set the young man free from his sphere of influence. He went around being so noble, so self-sacrificing as he pushed away everyone that was vulnerable to the darkness pervading his world. He freely forfeited their happiness and his hope but not when it came to Spinelli. Monica had pleaded to be let into his life and he had refused. Robin wanted him around more often and he adamantly denied her. Elizabeth and he had engaged in a more complex dance of coming together and splitting apart because he was unable to entirely sever connections with her. Jake's kidnapping had been a rude awakening for both of them and they were now entirely in accord that they could no longer see one another. He had even restricted Maxie's access to the penthouse._

_Jason had done all that with people he cared about along the continuum of mild affection to out right paternal love. Yet, when it came to Spinelli, he couldn't do it. He wouldn't have prevented Spinelli from leaving and he sporadically halfheartedly encouraged him to do so. Spinelli wouldn't go, not unless Jason made him but Jason, the unreachable, the unmovable, refused to bring out the big guns and forcibly move Spinelli onto the road to a better and safer future. The plain fact was that Jason needed Spinelli in his life. He needed him to keep his demons at bay to show him that there was indeed light and purpose in life-specifically in Jason's existence. _

_The absence of light in Jason's life, that was a legacy which began with his head injury and culminated in him becoming Sonny's protégé and eventually his stone cold enforcer. Their relationship was about a lot of things-anger, fear, intimidation and violence. Jason didn't have any other standard to measure it by, he didn't know what else was out there and by the time he began to question that there might be another way-he was in too deep._

_Jason looked at Sonny as his adoptive father, his older brother, his best friend and his literal partner in crime. They had stood shoulder to shoulder untold times with guns blazing and death coming for them with every returned shot. Oftentimes, one or the other or both of them had taken a round, had gone down for the count. Those were the days when Jason felt a total and complete fierce loyalty to Sonny. He would do anything for him and surrendering his life wasn't even that high up on the list. He gave up relationships, Michael, his chance to have a different life and not once did he think it an unfair trade, that Sonny perhaps shouldn't have asked it of him. No, Jason was grateful for the opportunity to pay back a small part of all that had been given to him. _

_Over time, their relationship shifted slowly at first and then more quickly and more cosmically. More and more Jason found himself the sole person facing the hail of bullets while Sonny sat safely back in the office or at his home dictating the action, controlling the players from afar. He trusted that his enforcer, his creation would come through for him-get him more territory, eradicate the enemy, rescue his son or his wife, and time and time again that is exactly what happened. Sonny picked up a phone and on the other end would be Jason ready and willing to do his bidding to discard whatever he was doing in thrall to his mentor's service._

_It had been like that for years until the stress fractures began to appear. Eventually, a more world weary and wiser Jason slowly began to recognize that Sonny was a deeply flawed man-selfish, arrogant, ruthless. Sonny began to treat Jason merely as a tool as a sharp implement meant to cut him free of all the dangers and inconveniences that being a mob kingpin entailed. After all, Sonny owned him and he was his to do with as he wished._

_Yet, when Jason began to rebel it wasn't on his own behalf. He would go up against Sonny for Carly's sake, or Michael's. Frequently, he saw things more clearly and without emotion and would try to stop Sonny from making irrevocable choices that would seriously damage him and all those in his orbit. He didn't fight for himself, he carried his hurt inside when Sonny berated him for not understanding how things worked. Even when Sonny would accuse him of the worse crime in their world-disloyalty-Jason swallowed his misery and took it because he wasn't capable of fighting Sonny not the man who had saved him and given him a purpose in life. _

_The first time Jason came to Sonny and asked him to do something for him, for their history, for their brotherhood-Sonny refused him. He wouldn't give up his burgeoning relationship with Emily because it was what he wanted at the moment and no one, certainly not Jason, had the right to naysay what Sonny wanted. That had created a rift that had seemed destined never to be healed. _

_Somehow they had come back from the edge that time but things had never quite been the same. More and more, Jason started to see what he had lost in his life because of his choices. Unlike Sonny, he was affected by his deeds, his actions. They could both kill with apparent ease but the difference for Jason was that every time he did it took away a piece of his soul. Sonny disposed of people like they were possessions and it was his birthright to do as he would with them. The world existed at Sonny Corinthos' pleasure, not the other way around and when that concept was challenged there was always hell to pay. _

_Over time, Jason found himself resenting Sonny's continuous and arbitrary demands on his life and on his time. He treated him less like a friend, never mind a brother, and more like an enforcer-a dangerous errand boy in fact. He wouldn't brook any interference on Jason's part in his plans for the business or his disposal of his enemies. It was Sonny's way or the highway was the implication and it never crossed Sonny's mind that he would defy him in any large or lasting way. It crossed Jason's mind to do so but he seemed entrapped in an endless loop of Sonny says-Jason does with no idea of how to get out of it. His loyalty and his debt to Sonny were so ingrained in him that he literally couldn't see ever going against him. Whenever he did argue with him or displease him, Sonny immediately would play either the respect or the betrayal card or, in extreme situations, both. Then Jason would unwillingly come to heel and things would rub along uneasily until the next confrontation emerged. _

_When Jason found out about Jake, that he was his and not Lucky's, he went along with Elizabeth's desire to give his son a stable, normal, two parent home. It was a case of déjà vu, harkening back to when he gave up Michael for what he perceived as being a decision in his best interests. He thought Elizabeth was probably right about it being the correct choice, the right thing to do. It was surprising how often Jason, an assassin by trade, worried about that very idea-what was the right thing to do?_

_He knew instinctively to keep his parentage of Jake a secret from Sonny. He probably would have kept it a secret from Spinelli as well if he hadn't stumbled across it. Jason understood that the minute more than one person knew a secret it wasn't really a secret anymore and that certainly applied in Jake's case. Yet, surprisingly, Spinelli had kept the information about Jake's paternity to himself, he had even resisted Sonny's grilling pf him concerning what was bothering Jason. _

_Jason didn't want to have a discussion with Sonny about what he ought to do with regard to his child, while Jason knew Sonny loved Michael and Morgan he also knew that he regarded them somewhat as possessions as viable emblems of his virility and his legacy. Sonny Corinthos could never have an unclaimed child of his loose in the world. He tried to couch it in terms of parenting and love but in reality it was something more akin to control. He certainly didn't seem to truly understand the dangers that surrounded him and those, even the most innocent of them, who he loved. Sonny seemed incapable of sacrificing his own aspirations in the face of his child's wants and needs. If he had been more interested in Michael as a child in need of protection and less interested in posing for him as father of the year-Michael might still be an awake and alert teenager. _

_Jason never wanted his son to be in that same situation and he wasn't selfish or delusional enough to think he could unilaterally protect him against all comers. So, he had chosen to push Elizabeth and Jake out of his life but he had kept a tiny flicker of hope burning in one small corner of his heart. Perhaps someday he could claim Jake and maybe even be with Elizabeth. _

_Then Jason had made the biggest sacrifice of his life for Sonny. It was much more difficult than taking a bullet or risking his life uncountable times and he did it for a child that wasn't even his. Jason took the business over for Morgan. The only way that Sonny would agree to relinquish his parental rights to Michael and Morgan was if Jason took over the organization leaving Sonny free to move on and live a non mob connected life. Nothing was less appealing to Jason than becoming a mob boss-nothing. _

_He knew that it meant the destruction of his dream of someday having his own family. He didn't want to be in charge, to carry more burdens in the shape of life and death decisions. Yet, to save Morgan and to keep Carly in his life he agreed and instantly became persona non grata to Sonny who felt immensely hurt and betrayed by both Jason and Carly. He took it personally, just as he had never truly seemed to accept his culpability in Michael's shooting, he was convinced that Carly and Jason conspired to punish him by taking his sons away. _

_Jason thought that payback, that hurting Sonny might have indeed been part of Carly's motivation along with a very real fear of losing her younger son to further mob violence. Jason knew his reasons for taking over the business were exactly as he stated them. He felt that he was just as culpable in Michael's shooting as Carly and Sonny and so it made no sense for him to punish them when he had an equal share in the blame. His martyrdom was already laid out for him as he unwillingly took up running the organization._

_Jason tried, he really did, to keep his anger from Sonny erupting and further eroding their already close to non-existent relationship. Time and again he had explained away Sonny's poor behavior as a manifestation of his suppressed grief. He tolerated Sonny trying to bull his way back into the business though he also blocked him because a deal was a deal and Jason was going to see his part through. He was heart sick when he found proof that Sonny was colluding with the newly arrived head of the Russian mob. Still, he tried to accept at face value Sonny's rationalizations that he was actually only doing it to protect Jason. He came to Sonny's wedding to Kate and he immediately responded to his call for help and support when she was shot. He put all the resources of his operation to work trying to determine who had shot her while at the same time resisting Sonny's enraged demands that he go after the Russians based on the evidence of a single shell casing. _

_Then Sonny went rogue, furious that Jason would not do as he asked. He went after the Russians and was almost killed. He retaliated by killing the head of the Russian organization thereby initiating a full blown mob war. The war didn't involve Sonny, the Russians struck at Jason-his physical plants, his people, and ultimately his son. Jake's kidnapping would never have occurred if Sonny hadn't gone off the rails. Then, as though nothing that had happened had any linkage to him-Sonny up and married Claudia Zacchara and took over running the Zacchara family business. His explanation was simple and crystal clear-at least to Sonny-Jason had blocked him from reacquiring his own business, the one he had built and wanted to run again. So, Sonny was through being nice and was going to make his own necessary allegiances._

_Through everything, Spinelli had tried to mediate between Sonny and Jason. He had actively tried to get them to make peace. He did it for one reason and one reason only-because he thought it was what Jason wanted. Jason knew the appalling way Sonny treated Spinelli. He had seen it from the beginning. At best Sonny tolerated Spinelli because of his undeniable computer skills and maybe, at first, because Jason cared about him. Over time though, Sonny grew to dislike and perhaps even hate Spinelli._

_Jason knew that Sonny was jealous of his relationship with Spinelli. As their friendship withered it was clear that the bond between the Jackal and Stone Cold was strengthening. Sonny couldn't stand that Spinelli had known about Jake pretty much all along and that he had managed to keep the secret. He despised that Jason stood up for Spinelli and wouldn't cut him loose which Sonny had urged him to do on more than one occasion. He felt displaced, replaced even, and he couldn't stand it-that wasn't how things went in a Sonny-centric world._

_If anyone else had dared to treat Spinelli the way Sonny did they would have answered to Jason. Instead, Jason tried to tell Spinelli that Sonny was hurting and that he couldn't take the things he said personally because they were coming from a place of grief of anger. He knew vaguely that there had been confrontations between the two that had been severe, where Sonny had lost control. Somehow though Jason managed to convince himself that they hadn't been that bad because Spinelli hadn't come to him and so he could turn a blind eye. Even on the day when Sonny burst into the office and tore into Spinelli like a mad dog Jason hadn't intervened. Afterward, he had tried to take Sonny to task for his actions but Sonny had brushed him off, had arrogantly refused to see that he had done anything remotely cruel. _

_Jason and Spinelli's relationship wasn't a replacement friendship or a surrogacy for what Sonny and Jason had shared. He hadn't gone looking for this connection but he wouldn't trade it for anything. He knew that it was his last link with humanity, with being more than a criminal, a mob boss. Spinelli saw him as a champion for justice, righting wrongs and going to bat for the underdog. Some days Jason even let himself have the luxury of seeing himself through Spinelli's eyes. He could be open with his roommate-tell him about his feelings, his pain. He shared strategy and plans with him because besides keenly respecting his input he was the only person he knew that actively had his best interests at heart. Jason trusted Spinelli utterly. _

_Jason vigorously tried to keep Spinelli out of danger. He had no illusions about the romance of violence, of a life lived by and through a gun. He wanted better things for Spinelli-sometime in the future-that was the only vision that Jason could manage to wrap his mind around, the only way he could make peace with the idea of Spinelli not always being by his side. When he got sick or injured Jason died a little inside, just as he did when Jake was kidnapped. If it had anything to do with his lifestyle or his choices that only made it that much worse. Those were the times that Jason tried to reach Spinelli, tried to get him to see the tarnish on the glamour that he associated with Jason and his lifestyle. It never worked and Jason was relieved and frustrated at the same time._

_Jason had neutralized the Russian threat in Port Charles. There couldn't have been any other outcome, not after they kidnapped Jake. He had to exact retribution but more than that he had to confirm his stance as an alpha male it was the only way to stay in the business. Yet, he wasn't allowed to rest on his victory, to lick his wounds and to evaluate how close he had come to losing Jake. _

_Instead, he had simultaneously been attacked on two fronts. On one side he had the FBI nipping at his heels. They wanted Sonny and the Zacchara-Corinthos organization and Jason was going to get their prize for them. They started with the carrot which was an offer of blanket immunity for him in exchange for giving sub rosa testimony. He could continue on with business as usual with the Feds' blessing and with no one the wiser. Jason had refused the offer._

_Then Sonny, after asking Jason once again to let him have his organization back, decided to play hardball. In front of Jason, he had ordered a Zacchara-Corinthos shipment landed on a Morgan pier. Jason's face was expressionless but the hurt and betrayal was clearly evident in his eyes. Jason gave him a one time pass and a warning. Then Sonny had done it again and Jason was ready for him-he blew the shipment out of the water._

_While he was confronting Sonny and Claudia on the docks at his pier, he got a phone call. The FBI had found Jason's Achilles heel-Spinelli. They had arrested his roommate for treasonous acts. When Jason got to the station he wasn't allowed to see Spinelli. Diane Miller had no luck in getting him free. It was anything but business as usual at the Port Charles Police Station._

_Jason stared in frustrated agony at Spinelli-he was only feet away from him and as unreachable as he would have been on the moon. His lost expression of bewilderment, and guilt broke Jason's heart. Agent Raynor came in and told Jason flatly that they had enough evidence to put Spinelli away in a federal prison for life._

_Jason knew that everything that had led to this moment, to this trapping of his boy had been his fault. He had used Spinelli's cyber skills time and again to get what he needed in the moment. Sometimes it was business, sometimes it was personal. At Jason's request or behest or sometimes without his input at all, Spinelli had hacked into every possible type of information available on the internet. He had gotten into Department of Defense records, countless video feeds, and bank information. He had Jason released from jail by falsifying Interpol records and that had enabled Jason to go after Jake and his kidnappers._

_He knew that Spinelli hadn't betrayed him, that instead Spinelli had been betrayed by Jason, by the feds, by life at large. Spinelli treated hacking as a game as an example of his cyber-dominance but he also used his skills to help people, to help Jason. They had solved crimes and found people and saved hostages because of Spinelli's skills. Yet, none of that mattered. Spinelli had broken the law, it was his fingerprints on the keyboard, his assault on the sanctity of national security. Jason knew that Agent Raynor was making no idle threat. _

_So, the choice was Spinelli or Sonny. The balance was so obviously tipped in one direction that anyone-except Sonny Corinthos-who had observed Jason's and Spinelli's relationship would know what the upshot would be. Hell, Agent Raynor knew what the outcome would be. He just needed the words of agreement to spill forth from Jason's mouth and they had._

_Now, Jason stood in front of Sonny trying desperately one last time to get him to understand, to see why Jason made the choice that he did. More than that, he wanted him to work with him, this one last time. He wanted to reestablish their partnership-the magic that had been Sonny and Jason when it seemed they could conquer the world-so that they could figure a way out of this mess. Jason wanted a resolution wherein neither Sonny nor Spinelli were prosecuted or went to jail. He didn't see why Sonny couldn't understand that he had to save Spinelli but he didn't want to sacrifice Sonny. _

_Jason knew that his decision would have far reaching reverberations. He would have to rebuild Spinelli, somehow get him to have faith in their bond and understand that Jason had made the choice willingly. He knew that he would be wracked by guilt and remorse and even worse, he would doubt his own computer skills and abilities which had always been the unparalleled definition of who Damian Spinelli was. _

_It would become common knowledge in the underworld that Jason Morgan had sold out his mentor, his boss, his comrade, hell-it could be his worst enemy-and it wouldn't matter if the code applied. Jason's own life might be forfeit unless he made Port Charles such a secure stronghold so that no one could challenge him.. Spinelli's life would be in constant danger because it would be clear to everyone how much he mattered to Jason Morgan and he would become instant leverage. _

_It was a mess of epic proportions and Jason did not comprehend how Sonny could stand there and look at it from one perspective only-his. How could he possibly think he would choose to be in this situation if there had been any other option that he could see implementing? The thing was that every last vestige of respect, caring, and affection that Jason had managed to hold onto with regard to Sonny had begun to dissipate the minute he had asked the question: "Was Spinelli worth it?"_

_Now, after an uncomfortable interlude of several minutes as each man stayed in their own space with a no-man territory of open carpet between them, staring at each other in stubborn silence, Sonny repeated the question. _

_Jason sighed internally, he had to relinquish all his hopes for any kind of pact between the two of them, any hope that they might come together and work as a team this one last time. It was obvious that Sonny would ditch Spinelli in a New York minute and he fully expected Jason to do the same. _

_So, he did what he had to. He returned Sonny's gaze with his own disillusioned and exhausted one. "Maybe you're asking the _wrong_ question, Sonny." Jason said each word distinctly and with precision, he wanted there to be no misunderstanding. "Are you worth it?" He never took his eyes from Sonny's as realization began to dawn in them, as he absorbed the unthinkable question that Jason had responded with. "Tell you what," Jason wanted this to be over, he had tried and failed and now it was time to concentrate on doing what he had to in order to save Spinelli. "I'll answer them both for you, kind of a twofer. Yes and no."_

_Jason turned on his heel and strode away from a slack jawed Sonny who was slowly being consumed by an internal furnace of fury. It was done, the line was drawn and there was no going back. _


End file.
